Salute To Douglas Adams - Favorite Quote

I would like to honor all of my fellow I.T. managers and other members of the workforce that have to deal with end-users who JUST DON"T GET IT!

A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. - Douglas Adams 1952-2001

FrankenApple?

Amy, Alec, and I went apple picking Monday. I picked this one myself. No further explanation is offered....

I Found This On My Desk.......

Lipid-Cooked Sweetened Starch Ring Engineers......

The Fox broke down. Nothing major, but it made for a lousy night because we had to abandon it in Newburgh, and then wait for someone to give us a lift to Jersey. (Thanks AGAIN Will, and Ashley!!). Just a stuck thermostat, but Lee warned me not to try to change it without having some good tools and a spare water pump housing as the bolts are known for snapping.

In the parking lot of the Autozone we had limped to was also a Dunkin Donuts / Baskin Robbins. I was frustrated and upset, but not enough to break my diet, so I was thinking "Maybe they have no-sugar-added ice cream". I went inside to look, and to get Amy a donut.

There was an 'L' shaped counter with the ice cream on the left, and the donuts straight ahead. I started to look at the ice cream tubs. There were two women working the counter. One of them said "Baskin is closed sir." This didn't strike me as strange right away. I walked to look at the donuts first, and then it hit me. Were the workers here so specialized that they were incapable of scooping ice cream? Were these...... DONUT SPECIALISTS?!?

I'll have to return sometime when the frozen dairy emulsion technicians are working.

Makeover

Before

After


I mentioned in an earlier posting that I am dieting. Not really a diet I guess, but a major change of lifestyle with respect to food and exercise. I get asked a lot which diet I'm on. I answer "It's the I-want-to-live-to-meet-my-grandchildren diet!!" The basic structure is like Atkins, but I allow small indulgences here and there. I have cut most raw dairy products out also (milk, unripened cheeses, butter), and try to walk at least 1-2 miles per day. I do not follow a book or guide, I do not keep a log, I do not even know what my starting weight was. I estimate that it was about 263 based on previous weights and growth. Last night I weighed in at 221 pounds.

It's not just about the weight though. With it all comes more energy and a better attitude. Just look at the before and after pictures here.... I think my date is more attractive in the after picture too!

Special congrats to Carlos and Kysha who got married this past weekend and invited Amy and I to join his friends and family.

(P.S. The before shot is actually a costume, and yes, I do actually OWN that tie!)

Amy and Friend

We saw this guy on the beach at Sandy Hook last weeekend. I love this picture!

People-Hating Dog Lovers?

I went with Amy this evening to South Street Seaport. I have never been there, even though I am into my third year here now, and Amy, who is spending the Summer working with me was looking to do something interesting. After braving the sweltering heat, we ended up in the Pier 17 complex, which is basically, a mall. I liked that it had a different variety of shops though. There were some familiar names, but most of it was unique.

On the second floor I saw a young lady with the cutest little dog. It was white and brown with short hair. I don't know what breed it was, because I didn't get that far. I approached her with a smile and I believe I made an "awww" sound as the dog licked her face. I think that if you bring a dog into a public place, you should be the type of person that can accept total strangers asking you about your best friend. A young man, who had been standing nearby suddenly stepped in front of me and blocked my view. It took a few seconds for my brain to shift from "friendly mode" to "what the hell are you doing mode". He flashed a look at me over his shoulder that basically said "get lost!" I was shocked. My friendly upstate self suddenly realized that sometimes, people seem to expect everyone to be a whacko down here.

So, Mr rude puppy blocker. If you ever read this by some chance, please understand that some of us are simply dog lovers, and just want to show your canine some admiring love. I promise not to intrude on your private affairs, steal your cellphone, or sell you a counterfeit handbag. Maybe next time you won't block me, and maybe I won't go upstairs and "accidentally" drop a Boston cream doughnut on you.

I bet the puppy loved the cream though.

What did I do?

I'm not sure what I did to deserve this look. This is my son Alec and his little half-brother David. The woman is his mother (and my ex). Not sure what else to say. The picture kind of says it all.

We Made It!

Live, From NJ....... The Fox survived it's maiden voyage. Definitely needs a couple of things though. An exhaust system (found one already at Harry's), Tire bbbbbbbbalancing (yes, it's that bbbbad), and I think it is in dire need of rear shocks. Otherwise, we got here without a mishap. I have now put almost 300 miles on it since I put plates on it last Monday. The exhaust isn't that bad, but I know it is getting worse. It would have been done already, but brother Lee decided to dismantle his 928's engine yesterday so the lift is out of commission until he finishes. Otherwise, it is now parked down here, and STILL NAMELESS!! C'mon people! I need a name for the thing.

The Protector.....(Night of the Testosterone Zombies)

Ashley, (Marti's 19 year-old daughter) is one of those girls who hasn't yet learned her effect on the world around her. She is one of the most beautiful young women I know, but like many attractive young people her age, is unaware of this fact at times. The negative issues that come from this manifest themselves in the form of what I call "Testosterone Zombies", or boys that won't leave her alone! One such stalker recently started to give her trouble after one date. Ashley, as far as I know, has no intention of ever going out with him again, but this one has been the most persistent one yet.

The other night, while Marti and Amy were off watching Baryshnikov prance around in tights at the Bard PAC, Alec and I went off to WalMart for necessities. My cell phone rang and a nervous Ashley told me; "He's trying to find me", she said. "He knows what block of Smith Avenue we live on and keeps driving by. Please come home!" I rushed through the checkout, and made sure that someone was on the phone with her until I got there. Upon getting back to the house, she had calmed down a bit, but was still a little shaky about going outside. "He drives a black Pathfinder", she informed us. That was all Alec had to hear.....

Alec, my youngest, has inherited his Uncle Lee's obsession with cars. I'm not talking about a normal curiosity here. Lee, years ago, was known to say things like; "That's odd. I don't think that was a standard color for a 67 Triumph. That one has 67 tail-lights but that's a 68 color" (Facts are fictional for demonstration purposes only, do not check my sources). Alec can identify cars, vans and trucks, not only in the daylight it seems, but in the dark. He sat there with us watching up and down the block, naming the cars. A black SUV pulled in 3 houses over. Ashley jumped, "Oh my god! Is that him?" "Naaahh, just an old-style Grand Cherokee", said Alec. This went on for about an hour. I was kind of hoping he tried to stop so I could have a word or two with him. We saw him at a distance a couple of times, but no drive-bys. Ashley eventually calmed down and left to go visit the one she's not currently ignoring.

I was not only impressed with Alec's knowledge and abilities, but his attitude of "call-to-duty". He seemed just as eager to protect Ashley as I was. I knew there was no real danger here, but Alec enjoyed the intrigue and excitement just the same. The night passed without incident.

I was cleaning the litter box out the next night. This is a most unpleasant task since we have three cats in the house with the largest one being at least 23 pounds. I custom-made the litter box from a storage bin. As I was scooping I overheard Ashley complaining that he was calling again. I finished the task, tied the bag closed and headed down the stairs to go out to the trash. As I walked past the living room, I stopped and looked at Ashley. "Call him". I said. "Ask him to come by". "Why?!" She asked rather alarmed at my request. "I have a present for him", and I headed out the door with my bag of cat treasures...........