Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The Protector.....(Night of the Testosterone Zombies)

Ashley, (Marti's 19 year-old daughter) is one of those girls who hasn't yet learned her effect on the world around her. She is one of the most beautiful young women I know, but like many attractive young people her age, is unaware of this fact at times. The negative issues that come from this manifest themselves in the form of what I call "Testosterone Zombies", or boys that won't leave her alone! One such stalker recently started to give her trouble after one date. Ashley, as far as I know, has no intention of ever going out with him again, but this one has been the most persistent one yet.

The other night, while Marti and Amy were off watching Baryshnikov prance around in tights at the Bard PAC, Alec and I went off to WalMart for necessities. My cell phone rang and a nervous Ashley told me; "He's trying to find me", she said. "He knows what block of Smith Avenue we live on and keeps driving by. Please come home!" I rushed through the checkout, and made sure that someone was on the phone with her until I got there. Upon getting back to the house, she had calmed down a bit, but was still a little shaky about going outside. "He drives a black Pathfinder", she informed us. That was all Alec had to hear.....

Alec, my youngest, has inherited his Uncle Lee's obsession with cars. I'm not talking about a normal curiosity here. Lee, years ago, was known to say things like; "That's odd. I don't think that was a standard color for a 67 Triumph. That one has 67 tail-lights but that's a 68 color" (Facts are fictional for demonstration purposes only, do not check my sources). Alec can identify cars, vans and trucks, not only in the daylight it seems, but in the dark. He sat there with us watching up and down the block, naming the cars. A black SUV pulled in 3 houses over. Ashley jumped, "Oh my god! Is that him?" "Naaahh, just an old-style Grand Cherokee", said Alec. This went on for about an hour. I was kind of hoping he tried to stop so I could have a word or two with him. We saw him at a distance a couple of times, but no drive-bys. Ashley eventually calmed down and left to go visit the one she's not currently ignoring.

I was not only impressed with Alec's knowledge and abilities, but his attitude of "call-to-duty". He seemed just as eager to protect Ashley as I was. I knew there was no real danger here, but Alec enjoyed the intrigue and excitement just the same. The night passed without incident.

I was cleaning the litter box out the next night. This is a most unpleasant task since we have three cats in the house with the largest one being at least 23 pounds. I custom-made the litter box from a storage bin. As I was scooping I overheard Ashley complaining that he was calling again. I finished the task, tied the bag closed and headed down the stairs to go out to the trash. As I walked past the living room, I stopped and looked at Ashley. "Call him". I said. "Ask him to come by". "Why?!" She asked rather alarmed at my request. "I have a present for him", and I headed out the door with my bag of cat treasures...........

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